Sunday Musings

Since I brought the idea on all myself, my Mommy bliss tally is now: Mommy Bliss: 0 Chaos: 4 Thursday September 15th had no promise whatsoever. At the schools end of the day, we were headed to Lancaster to get ready for my little brother's wedding! It was a hectic day for me. Cleaning, packing, etc. Husband home (again). Not that my husband couldn't be a good thing, but my goal here is A DAY TO MYSELF. Haven't had one in 6 years. Tuesday coming up is out as well. I have small hopes for Thursday of next week. Very small. . . . I mentioned a wedding in there so I must say that my baby brother is finally married! He picked a great girl, and the wedding was beautiful and a ton of fun. All of my children were in the wedding and they put on a hell of a show! The ring bearers marched like soldiers, and thenk GOD I found out that they put the actual ring on the pillows and made them take them off and place them safely in the best man's pockets because the pillows were handled like footballs and finding rings in the grass would have SUCKED!

See my ring bearer's, and the pillows - those rings would have been toast! . . . . The girls were cute too!

I thought it would mean a day to myself, a day of resting or reading or walking dogs, or doing nothing about anything. That is what I thought I would get when all three of my children were in school for a full day at the same time. I held that image in my head and told myself how glorious it would be. What's that sound? Who wants juice? Nobody. Because there is nobody here!!!! Insert reality. Alex and Caitlin did start full day preschool, for 2 glorious days a week, ON THE SAME DAY! Meaning that since Anthony is a big old first grader that on Tuesday's and Thursdays they are in school, husband is at work and I would FINALLY, FINALLY get some me time. Some quiet. Not. 1st Thursday drop off at 9am went fairly well, Alex was not a happy camper, he decided he was not going to school. Caitlin was fine with going to school, but with any pictures associated with the process thereof. Hubs and I take both children in, I take Alex to his class room, get all excited about his cubby, put his stuff away - he has a minor snit about his "WeQueen" (Lightning McQueen) lunch bag being left on the cart with, every other sub-form lunch bag. I wrestle the bag away and throw him into the circle on the carpet calmly explain that he will get his lunch bag back at lunch time and SEE, Miss Kelly has a balloon for you!!! (squeaky voice and all). And then, he sits and completely ignores my presence at which time Miss Kelly suggests it's a good time for Mom to, psst psst you should go now... Insert hot burny tears welling in eyes here. Because this veteran preschool dropper offer cried big old alligator tears for her baby. Who was going to stay at preschool all day, because she wanted him to.

WeQueen Bliss

99 green balloons

Leave me alone mother

4 year old baby girl, 3 year old baby boy.

He is a handsome thing! Where did I leave off???Oh, the restful, relaxing, happy, quiet, Mommy part. Day Number 1 of mommy Bliss: The Lord laughed at me OUT LOUD. Lulu the wonder kitty had to go to the vet. It was pouring rain. The husband decided to work from home. And then I had to go to work myself at 3. Day Number 2 of mommy Bliss: The Lord laughed out loud and snorted through his nose. I was subpoenaed 6 days before hand to report to courtroom 3 as a witness for the Commomweath of I. DON'T. GIVE. A. SHIT. I am not going, no no no no no. I am not going to waste my second chance at Mommy Bliss inside a boring old courthouse waiting to be called as a witness to something I don't remember. What's that you say Madam Assistant District Attorney, a bench warrant? No need to get all high and mighty, I'll be at your damn court room thank you very much. And ya know WHAT? I was the only person on time. EVERYONE ELSE was 2 1/2 hours late so I got to sit from 9AM to 3PM and watch dust grow. When I got home they were all there. I may have to keep a Mommy Bliss record. Tally so far - the shove it up your ass Force is 2, Mommy 0.

School Woes

Anthony is an old-pro at this thing called going to school. He had daycare when I was working full time as a paramedic. Then when I started staying home because daycare outpriced my salary he went to preschool. For 2 years. Then full day kindergarten, Praise God! Somehow though, the switch to the public school system for elementary school has been really difficult for me. Aside from the fact that I am catholic and baptised my children catholic and fully intended them to go to catholic school, aside from feeling like I am letting down my dad for not sending him to catholic school, aside from the fact that I know, I really do know, the public school system has more to offer than catholic school ( even with the funding cuts), I still feel anxious sending him off for the day. I suddenly feel like my baby is alone in an unending sea of other kids. He was one of 33 kindergartners last year. He is one of 20 1st graders this year, but the school is SO BIG. It's a huge mass of people swarming the building every morning and afternoon. It's my fear though. He, has had no trouble with this change.

goodbye mom sigh

He did not cooperate with 1st day of school, 1st day of FIRST GRADE ANTH--- pictures. Seriously, the only thing he is bugged about is lunch. I pack his lunch.

3

In my thirtieth year, I gave birth to my third child. Lots of 3's right there. And in my thirty third year, he turned -------- 3!.

My third child, my baby boy was the biggest, best, scariest surprise I ever received. Biggest, because the only bigger surprise I can think of is well, I can't. Best, because I wouldn't trade him for anything. Scariest, well, I wasn't planning on a third. His sister was only six months old. We were BROKE. Broke. I already had postpartum depression, how the hell could this be happening again??? Well, I know how it happened, but really God, do you really think this is a good idea? Me, as a mother of 2 is kind of pathetic, you are going to add a THIRD to this mix, and what? You'll hope for the best for the child, for the mother? I was so scared. I was so angry. And then scared again. I already doubted my ability to mother the children I had. I felt overwhelmed and anxious and I worried all the time. I didn't have fun with this thing called motherhood, and here we go again. That was three years ago.

I still have PPD. I still have fear. We are still broke. I still don't know how to have fun with this thing called motherhood on many days. But oh how they make me melt. Especially this third child, my baby boy who is not a baby anymore. He is 3 now. He will start preschool, and I will cry when I let him. Because he is my "last" baby. Happy Birthday Alex! You are such a funny boy. You are strong willed and you really know that people see you. You know you leave a mark! You add hilarity to everything you do even when I am restraining my self from locking you in a closet! The way you tell me " shhh mommy, you need to use nice words to me!" makes me want to laugh my ass off and swat your behind at the same time. You still LOVE your " NIE-NITE!" I do too kiddo. Love you my little man.

The last night as a 2 year old!

I'm not listening to you people sing Happy Birthday to me!

Tuckered out after a long birthday, Mommy's heart melted!

Arts and Crafts

They suck. Period.

I hate letting them have glitter, glue, glitter glue, scissors and anything that will make a mess that I will have to be cleaned off of them, the floor, the table, etc. I let them do crafts once or twice a year - not kidding. Today was one of those days. They were so happy. They were not fighting. They were gluing, glittering, glitter gluing and foam shaping to their hearts content and it was then I realized, it is so quiet in here, they are playing together! They are having fun! They really aren't being too messy! And oh, the google eyes are really cute :o)

So I stole away to the basement to do some secret clandestine LAUNDRY. It was almost enjoyable. Then I came back up the stairs and noticed a horrible amount of what I wrongly assumed was shedded dog hair. Shed?!?! Oh, so silly of you to think that Mommy... Plastic. Round. Safety. Scissors. THEY CUT THEIR HAIR, THE DOGS HAIR AND THE CAT'S HAIR. Holy what the F people. No more crafts. No pictures either, I was busy throwing craft supplies away. HRUMPH.

Rain and Soccer

Yesterday I took the kiddo's to get their new soccer equipment, This will be Anthony's third year playing soccer and he really loves it. He is fast, nimble and seems to have endless energy. His cleats and shin guards from last year were too small for him, and too big for Caitlin, how's that for luck. So, off we go. Alex is in tow and at the store is remanded to the custody of his stroller. He has a train in hand as is fine at first but then begins to ask to play soccer too. Try explaining to the almost 3 year old that he only has one more year to wait. C and AJ were getting really excited looking at cleats, I want those, I want those ( orange, purple, yellow ) they had it all. I wanted cheap. As in will be worn for about 3 months and never again cheap. The shoe guy pointed to a sign that said 14.99 - that was my sign! It took entirely too long getting both kids into cleats that fit their feet properly with guards and socks on, so I finally tell them to do a jog back and forth and something is not quite right... I bring them both back over and am checking fit, checking socks, Alex is STILL whining I wanna pway soccer... Finally I said to the shoe guy, I'm not sure if it's me but I think I have their sizes wrong for the cleats, somethings looking wrong. He said, oh that's because they are baseball cleats. JACK - I asked for cheap soccer cleats... Round 2 of picking out and trying on and picking out new shin guards and Caitlin HAS to have pink soccer socks to match her pick " check shoes" (nike brand). 2 pairs of the cheapest soccer cleats I could get on their feet. Clearance rack " pee wee" size shin guards for the Bug and not clearance rack but still cheapish shin guards for Anth, we pay I cringe because holy hell over $80 and we didn't even get a damn soccer ball...
Then the monsoon hits. Seriously, thunder, lightning, sheets of rain. I figure we will wait it out in the store, my Dad calls there is a tornado watch what am I doing? Trying to get 3 kids to the car in the deluge that just opened on us. ( Should have brought the ark, haha.) He said stay where we are, kids are begging to please go home Mommy, Mommy doesn't want to get wet guys, lets just wait a few more minutes. My Dad seconds that plan but all 3 kids veto with tears and fear and so I say ok, let's make a run for it. Cate and Anth grab a stroller handle and we will RUN. We got soaked to the skin. Alex cried because he is wet. Catie laughed and laughed. Anthony was pissed, just pissed. We get all buckled in and head home, and they were cracking up everytime we hit water and it made that big spray off the side of the car. Now that was funny.
Later on when the sun comes out, we head off to soccer clinic where Caitlin gets her first chance ever to play soccer and is wearing her new cleats and the storm clouds from hell roll over and we repeated getting soaked to the skin and running to the car. This time Anthony cried because he didn't get to play soccer yet, Caitlin beamed because the 2 drills she did were the icing on her cake. Poor Alex was just pissed!

That teenie tiny little dot in the middle there, with her foot on the ball, yep that one! That's my girl. ( Note the ominous clouds gathering to the left)

She is so happy! Literally 3 seconds later it started to pour.

POCONOOOOO, TAKE ME HOME!!!!!

Day 3 of another week away from home. We have traveled to the far reaches of SEPA and landed in the Pocono's! (again) We spend a lot of time here in the Pocono's. I like the relative quiet of the Pocono's. It's 9pm and I am listening to cicada's chirruping all around in the tree's announcing how hot tomorrow will be. I can also hear the roar of car engines, not sure if it's from the raceway or the turnpike.

But, alas - we have deer in our woods.

And we have in no particular order: caterpillar's, moths, tree frogs and spiders. I HATE SPIDERS.

MOTHRA ATTACKS

Caitlin and Alex torture admire a little caterpiller

Butterfly Sanctuary! Really? 100's of butterflies trapped in a TINY room where children are given poking sticks and sun ray magnification devices. And those are the PROTECTED butterflies people. Ok, so they were " feeding sticks", and magnifying glasses. But still. I counted at least 3 wounded and 5 dead.

And we still have 5 days left. I am exhausted.

But at least the dogs are having fun!