A Post-Christmas, Christmas Post

Christmas is a 2 day long event at our house. We spend Christmas Eve with my husbands family at his parents house. We have dinner and presents there and then go home. This year I decided that I was going to make a new fun little Christmas eve tradition. While we are out at the Grandparent's house, Santa's elves were to have magically delivered special new Christmas pajamas for the little people to wear to bed! The mother elf spent an inordinate amount of time finding the perfect pajama's. They were in cute Christmas bags and attached to one bag was Santa's magic key. What is Santa's magic key; you ask? Let me tell you, when my 4 year old daughter told me Santa used his magic key to get in our house because we don't have a chimney, I said the same thing out loud, except I think I dropped the F bomb in there. Thanks to her most favorite uncle in the world, I had to come up with a special, magic key that we leave outside for Santa to get in our house. This was a week before Christmas. I found a damn Santa key type thing at the card store in an ornament form, which cost 15 damn dollar's and was not returnable, of course... So, lets flash back to the PJ's and magic and stuff. The key was obtained, I even wrote a little poem and covered it with contact paper and made a ribboney thing and tied it to one of the pajama bags. Mom mom's help was enlisted and she popped on over after we left and made sure the pajama magic happened so on our return they would find the wonderful surprise that Santa's elves left for them. Idyllic magic be erased. 2 out of 3 kids fell asleep on the way home and were not at all happy being awoken when we had gotten home. Catie and Alex were so tired and they cried and cried and cried and really just wanted to go to bed. They absolutely, completely, adamantly refused to wear the new pajamas, they didn't give half a shit about Santa's elves. Anthony, the oldest was very happy. He found the key and read the poem and was totally into it. So, I guess it was worth it and I swear I will do this to for them for the next 30 years, so they better start wearing the pajamas.

Anthony saves the day and put's the key out for Santa

Christmas morning went a whole lot better, probably because a toy store had diarrhea in our living room.

Lest we forget that the reason behind Christmas is the birth of Christ, my little people melt my heart and insist on having birthday cake and singing Happy Birthday to baby Jesus. ( I would add the video here, but don't know how to do that.)

It was a long 2 days filled with family and love and food and of course presents.

Christmas eve picture at Grandmom's house

The only thing better than torturing the kids, is torturing the cats.

Christmas Pajama's - Yay Anthony

Possible Facebook Statuses...

1. " Oh, New Year's was great, until an overdose happened."

2. " Nothing like an attempted suicide to kill the holiday spirit."

3. " How'd we ring in the New Year? Filling out 302 papers."

4. "Oh, everything was great, except for the accidental ingestion of pills."

5. " Hey, nothing like a good stomach pumping to ring in the New Year."


I have been trying so hard for the last few days to bring levity to a very troubling situation. I have felt fear, worry, concern and outright anger and outrage. You see, the story is a long one. Not one I will tell very well. My emotions are strong, and have surprised even me a bit.

On Monday, January 2, 2012 we decided to enjoy our last day of Christmas Break with the kiddos and go out to breakfast. We rarely go out to eat with the monsters. They are loud and get antsy as little people will do. The very smart host gave us a large corner booth, and the kids were really very good and had a good time. Joe and I talked about driving out to his parents house because we missed the holiday party because Alex had a fever of 103 for 6 straight days. I wasn't going to take my sick little boy to a party when he felt like crud and also could spread whatever germs were cultivating themselves in his snot to all those at the party. He was fever free for 2 days finally so lets go we decided. Thank GOD the phone rang before we were done breakfast.

His father was calling because, he thinks that grandma took his pills, a lot of them. She isn't waking up right. It's been 2 days.

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME??? Two days? Well, you see, they had an argument early in the morning on new years day. So he didn't realize she was in bed all day because she was wacked out on his pills.

Go, I told my husband. Just go. Call me, let me know.

Fear. Fear. Fear. A little bit of relief when he calls and says an ambulance is on it's way. She's awake but lethargic. Ok. Just get her to the hospital.

He calls again. She is writing him off, she is writing his sister off, she is writing her husband off. WE didn't go to her party. We hate her and her family. His sister won't leave her be, won't let her just go to sleep. Excuse me? You are now casting guilt to your children? ANGER.

She won't see them. She won't talk to them. She doesn't want them near her. More ANGER.

She is going home. She still hasn't spoken to her son. She hasn't apologized, she hasn't given a reason. She needs help. Is anybody listening? She needs help.

When my husband finally got home from the hospital, I came undone. I was scared and angry at the same time. Would this happen again? What will happen next? Where the hell did this come from?

The totality of my anger has surprised me. At first I didn't understand it. But, I have finally figured out the reasons for the intensity of my anger. First and foremost, she is not allowed to put that kind of fear and responsibility on her children. By sake of being " mother " you do not have permission to destroy your children. I will not give you the permission to make my husband, your son, feel like this is his fault. Period. Harsh? A bit. Where is my understanding you ask? You see, my understanding went away when she made it well known that my need for anti-depressant medications to battle severe post-partum depression is unacceptable. She DID NOT EVER FEEL DEPRESSED WHEN SHE HAD CHILDREN. Anger. I have been on that ledge. I have looked over and thought, all I have to do is jump and there will be no more pain. It hit me nearly as hard that if I did it, my children would be torn to pieces and they did not, do not, will not ever deserve that. Period. I got help. She looked down upon me. Anger. Clearly there is something deeper going on inside of her. Get help. Please do not do this to your children. You will not put my children through this. Get help.