Going to the Store

This morning was rainy and I was not a fan of getting out of bed.  I don't do mornings.  Hate morning.  So, this morning Anthony and Caitlin ( previously referred to as Yard Boy, Ark Girl) both have school, YAY.  Thank God that Joe had been on call last night and was able to take both kids to school because I hate mornings.  He got up with Anthony, dressed him and took him to school and I didn't even know that it had happened.  I became vaguely aware that it was morning (ugh) when I heard Caitlin tell him that she couldn't wear those pants because they " pinch me."  Seriously, could it really be that time already, I just went to bed?  Although I was still in an "I don't want to get up funk," I realized that there was about to be some serious little girl getting dressed for school drama with Daddy so I got up and found them both with their heads in her closet.  Sigh.  Seriously, you have to tell her what she can wear, " but she's a girl", and?  If you don't tell her what she can wear, she'll be in a tutu and nothing else.  I averted crisis by selecting her " ballerina" and letting her pick from 2 shirts, handed daddy the tights ( mistake) and then went to go pee. (It is morning.)  I come back to find her mostly dressed, standing up trying to shove her legs into the tights,( insert scrunching up the legs instructions with blank stare from daddy here.)  Done, good I can go back to bed.  Nope, " mommy daddy mommy daddy" in a sing songy voice from the crib in the boys room. UGH.  It is almost 9 am, maybe I should get the poor boy up. And bring him into my bed to watch cartoons. Not, he is hungry and wants milk.  OK rainy day, I guess I am up and should be productive since Joe has gotten 2 kids ready and off to school today.
So, I dilly dally ( drink coffee, check e-mail etc etc etc) and realize holy CRUD it's 11am and I need to get my butt dressed to pick Catie up from school.  I hate mornings, especially when they are rainy.
( Alex is dressed, has had his milk and 2 banana's and we have brought his tools and work bench up from the basement - see I was productive.) 
We pick Catie up from school and I still don't want to go to the store although I don't have a lot of food to speak of.  So, off to the wholesale club we go.  Mind me, I realize I could have done this with only one child in tow but I guess I don't know better by now. Or I was having a really bad morning.
We get an awesome spot at the store, it's raining, we are right next to the carts, jackpot!  Get out of car, grab semi-dry cart and position it next to the car. Unbuckle kids from car seats, plop them both in the back of the cart and give Catie the umbrella to hold over her and Alex, mad giggles from them both, and we make it into the store without a hitch!!! 
" I'm hungry" says Catie
" hungry" says Alex
Ok, snack stand.  Do you want a pretzel or a hot dog. " Popcorn" says Catie. No, do you want a pretzel or hot dog, those are your choices. "Popcorn" says Catie.  Note the guy behind me in line butts right in front and says to the lady 1 hotdog please.  " Pet-zel" says Alex, "POPCORN".  No. "POPCORN"  Can I have 2 pretzels, "2 dollars." says the cashier, AND AN ICEE please, "3 dollars", " HOW BOUT A WATER TOO?"  Seriously, I am the only person in line you don't have to cart the girl around can you be a little more patient with us?  I hand a pretzel to Alex, take a bite out of mine and Catie finally says " hawt dawg" in a low, clearly not happy with the situation pout.  " And a hot dog please!"  ( Now there is a line forming)  I hand over the hot dog and pay the impatient cashier lady and the nice man behind me says " she dropped her hot dog."  WTF?  Lovely cashier lady is now ignoring me as I say excuse me can I have just one more hot dog, Alex is shreaking because he has spotted the empty icee cup and seriously, why am I at this place?  The nice man behind us, somehow procures us a new and free hot dog, get the icee filled and commence with shopping.  Now, they are fighting over the icee, she doesn't want to try on the winter jacket that I specifically came to this store to find, and she drops the damn " hawt dawg" again. Here EAT MY PRETZEL.  Still fighting over the damn icee.  Get the crap I need, go to the SELF CHECK OUT so I don't have to deal with any more impatient employees.  Insert debit card to pay. Rejected. Try again, I know there is money in there I checked. Rejected. Line forming. Try again. Rejected. AREYOUKIDDINGMEIKNOWIHAVEMONEYINTHERE. Press button to cancel sale because the damn card isn't working and I know there is money in there.  So, a new lady comes to help and suggests I try again or use cash - seriously would I be using the card if I had the cash in my hand. Lightbulb! use the mac machine. MAC rejects my request for cash. Are you kidding me? I assured the nice lady that I would come right back over with my cash and complete the purchase.  Try again. nada.  How 'bout the savings account, oh yeah I meant to transfer the money to the checking account this morning when I was on the computer doing nothing other than drink coffee wilst brooding over the fact that it was morning and I needed to get out of bed...