Today has started off unbelievably quite and peaceful. The kids were dispersed yesterday to different places of love. The boys to mommom and poppop, the girl to her "Uncle." I had to work middle shift, it's spring break, Easter is Sunday and I really need a few hours of silence, and 8 hours of sleep.
I used to feel so guilty sending them "away." I used to feel like it is my job, and my job only to take care of these kids, to deal with them. It was so overwhelming putting all the pressure on myself. I felt like I was incapable, incompetent, a bad mother, if I asked for a break, for help. I felt like I was a bad mother that I couldn't do it all, all day, every day.
They will each come home with smiles and excitement in their voices. With big, happy " Hi Mommy's." And I will be able to say smile and say " hi babies, I missed you! Did you have so much fun?"
It took me so long to realize that I am not sending them away. They are being loved, enjoyed and spoiled by very important people who love them. Whom they love. Who I could not make it in this crazy place without. I am grateful.
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